Like a lot of women, I often have a problem with people
taking advantage of my kindness, generosity and caring, even with my ability to get things done fast. That seems the case
with so many of my female friends, and hey, I’m not just saying it’s the OTHER
gender that takes advantage...because women take advantage of other women, too.
Even their friends and family. It happens to everyone at some time.
So
I thought about why this is the case. Why do so many people think it’s
perfectly OK to behave like this, and are these people even aware they are
doing it? My conclusion is, they don’t know. They are not aware. Perhaps it’s
how they were raised, to believe they were entitled to others doing everything
for them. Perhaps they are just lazy and arrogant and believe they shouldn’t
HAVE to work hard when there are others around to do it for them.
But
perhaps...just perhaps...taking advantage of another person masks a very
deep-seated fear of inadequacy and insecurity in one’s own abilities to do
things, to be successful, to go for it. Hey, if someone else can go for it FOR
you, why bother? But if you want to become a strong, self-sufficient person
with a solid identity and the ability to pursue your own life vision and make
your dreams and goals come true...you cannot do it through another person.
Because in the end, it will be THERE vision that manifested, their hard work
that is rewarded, their goals that are achieved, and once again you will be
able to tell yourself you could have done it all if
a)
you had more time
b)
you had more money
c)
you had more energy
d)
you were older, younger, prettier, hotter,
sexier...
e)
yadda yadda yadda
I’ve
taken advantage of others, yep. I admit it. We all do. It’s a human thang, you
know? But I’ve had to really ask myself lately WHY. Was it because I wasn’t
aware I was doing it? Hell no, the twist in my gut told me I was doing
something wrong. Was it because I couldn’t do for myself what I thought the
other person could do for me? Hell yes, because I let me own fears and
self-doubts constantly sabotage any efforts to do it myself (so hard to
admit!). Was it because I was lazy? Oh, maybe sometimes, sure. Was it because I
was scared shitless to try it on my own because...
I MIGHT FAIL?????
Hell to the yes. And when I got real and admitted that
truth, I realized that other people could never make my life better, or make my
dreams come true, or solve my problems for me. I also realized that people take advantage of me because I allow them to. And by putting up new boundaries and standing up for myself and realizing I am worth being respected and cared about, I hope it doesn't happen much anymore. I hope I never take advantage of anyone else either. I will do my best to try to avoid being at the giving end as well as the receiving end.
Do unto others comes to mind.
